Public Service Announcment: Fuck Chipper Jones by J.Senno of Trash Talk Sports

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The story goes that when Larry ‘Chipper’ Jones was drafted number 1 by the Atlanta Braves in 1990, he had no agent and his father negotiated that first deal. Chipper’s father told him he could get a lot more money, but Chipper seeing the big picture knew he wanted to just play right away and the money would come later. This regaling tale should endear me to Chipper Jones, but instead it just pisses me off because as a Mets fan I think that we could have been saved from the onslaught of Chipper if not for that infernal Todd Van Poppel.  I know at this point as a “fan” I am supposed to have grown past the hatred and learned to appreciate his career, but fuck him, and you know what I’m calling him Larry for the rest of this article.

Van Poppel was supposed to be the #1 pick, but he wanted too much money so the Braves ‘settled’ on Jones. Now, maybe if Van Poppel is in the Braves’ system, much like Justin Timberlake’s character in ‘Trouble with the Curve’, his career takes a different trajectory. But as it stands he was a putrid 40-52 with a 5.58 ERA with an all time WAR of -1.7. He is compared in Baseball Reference to the immortal Pat Mahomes and the insufferable Tanyon Sturze.  Larry Jones on the other hand finished with a .303 Batting Average, 468 Homeruns, and 1600 RBI’s, and an all-time WAR of 82.6. Jones is compared on the same baseball reference to hall of Famers Mel Ott, Mike Schmidt, and Al Kaline.

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Now, Larry Jones had the audacity to name his son Shea. To be honest if a Mets player had named their kid Turner because they dominated the Braves in the 90’s, I would have thought it was awesome, but as we all know this is devastatingly untrue.  So why hate Larry? He didn’t do anything personally to me. Sure he did, he haunted my dreams, and he took joy out of my life during a tough run through puberty when I could have used something to be happy about.

sptsmets_t640From 96-01 he hit over .350 in every season against the Mets racking up 19 Homers and 57 RBI’s in 86 games.  This equates to roughly 28 Homeruns, 84 RBI’s and a .370 Batting Average over the course of 162 games. During that time period he averaged a .313 Batting Average, 34 Homeruns, and 108 RBI’s, so really his performance against the Mets was maybe a bit above par for the course for him, but nothing earth shattering. So why does it feel like he only terrorized the Mets if his career stats against the Phillies are nearly identical.

Year

G GS AB R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB CS BB SO BA OBP SLG

OPS

Mets

245

237

858

168

265

46

4

49

159

20

5

147

134

0.31

0.4

0.543

0.949

Year

G

GS

AB

R

H

2B

3B

HR

RBI

SB

CS

BB

SO

BA

OBP

SLG

OPS

Phillies

245

237

846

166

280

71

3

49

152

6

2

169

141

0.33

0.4

0.596

1.036

Larry could have easily named his kid ‘Veteran’ and it would be equally plausible. I mean, your name is Larry and you don’t go by it so what rules are you playing by anyway.

Its’ like a bully at school, it doesn’t take away from any grief if last season Jimmy gave you 27 wedgies and 16 swirlies, but little Timmy got 25 wedgies and 15 swirlies. The fact remains nobody wants their head shoved in a toilet and nobody wants to be beat consistently even if they are doing it to everyone else. It also hurts so much more because he never goes away, with a bully you would hope he would go to a different junior high or move out of town or eventually you would grow to defend yourself, but it never happened. Year in and year out he is waiting for the poor Mets by their locker ready to embarrass them in front of everyone, and every year the Mets would let him.

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The problem is that the Mets haven’t gotten any stronger; they are just as susceptible for another bully to come in and destroy their spirit. Ladies and gentleman I bring you Bryce Aron Max Harper. He is destined to pulverize the Mets in a truly comic way. He hit .295 against the Mets with 3 Homeruns and 11 RBI’s so he is prime and ready to take the douchebag baton. Larry Jones was a villain in a pg-13 Varsity Blues sort of a way, he was southern, he was arrogant, but ultimately he was soft spoken and respectful. He would do that, that prick, just so I can’t hate him with all my heart. Harper on the other hand is poised to play foil for the next 20 years for the Mets, he is the Cobra Kai, except the Mets have no Mr. Miagi. He is more athletic, faster, intense and astonishingly more diabolical as he is breaking teammate’s hands on high fives.

The only difference is now I am ready for disappointment this time. I won’t be hurt (I keep telling myself that anyway). I am ‘emotionally unavailable’ as a Mets fan, it’s the only way I can protect myself. The Mets only hope is to get a bully of their own to protect them, something they have not had since Darryl Strawberry and the Mets of the late 80s. Until then, I will accept the swirlies Harper gives me as a fan and thank him for thinking of me. Fuck!

bryce-harper

J.Senno

Trash Talk Sports

Lebron : A Delusionary Tale by J. Senno of Trash Talk Sports

Los Angeles Lakers v Miami Heat

“A delusion is something that people believe in despite a total lack of evidence.” That is a quote from Richard Dawkins that is very apropos in an age where most people get their news from a feed on Facebook. We as a society take a fragment of an argument that we remember and regurgitate it in a haphazard manner that dilutes, discounts, or even changes the message, similar to what Tim ‘The Tool Man’ Taylor used to do with Wilson’s advice on Home Improvement.  So when we hear over and over that Richard Gere shoved a gerbil in his ass, or Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite, or that Lebron James isn’t clutch, we don’t delve deeper into it because what fun is truth when lies are so delightfully titillating.

Si-cover_lebron_james_2002_0_0_0x0_442x575Lebron came into the league as the most hyped player to ever pan out. From his very first game we could see he was something special. He ran the floor with the ease and speed of Scottie Pippen, he had vision of the court like Magic, he had the strength of Karl Malone, the jumping ability of Dominique, and the ability to score at will and attack the rim like Jordan.  In his first year he helped increase Cleveland’s win total by 18 wins from the previous year and showed a basketball IQ that was well beyond his young age.  They improved the next year to 42 wins in 2004-05, then 50 wins and a finals loss in 06-07, then 2 straight 60 win seasons. All the while he was carrying a bunch of has been and never was players up and down the court while being coached by Bunson from the Muppets (Mike Brown).  The best player he had was Carlos Boozer early in his career who left to go hang out with Mormons and color in his hairline with a sharpie (Lebron should try this instead of hanging out to scraps like Malone did).  There were some people who didn’t like him but these were soulless contrarians like Skip Bayless who will argue that pizza sucks and babies are stupid if they think it will piss you off.

All the while he was the symbol for good that Batman wished of Harvey Dent. He didn’t drive drunk, he didn’t get involved in domestic disputes, he didn’t try to make a rap album and at no point did he ever rape anyone.  He was well liked and a media darling, but our society is cynical and after awhile we get bored with something if there is no dirty laundry. Even Hulk Hogan had to stop telling us to eat our vitamins and say our prayers for us to begin to appreciate him again.

The only difference is Hulk was asking for it, he was spray painting people, yelling at fans, and demanding you hate him whereas Lebron was still asking for us to cheer him. Men complain that girls don’t like nice guys, but neither do we, why else would we be so fascinated by Charles Barkley and John Daley.  It was time for his turn to heel and if he wasn’t going to give us reasons then we would create them.

It started with Lebron taking off his jersey and walking off the court after another tough loss in a series where he did as much as he could to help his team lose.  I am a sore loser and never shook hands with the opposing team after a loss so I didn’t understand what the big deal was anyway.  Then there was the decision which was reviled as shameless self promotion where all the proceeds went to charity. In a different world with a different media these stories could have been covered differently. Lebron walking off the court should have been covered as him being an intense competitor who was tired of losing and ‘The decision’ could be seen as a necessary evil in an attempt to give back to the community.

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Everyone has that one friend that no matter what they do it just pisses you off. “Oh he bought me a beer, he would do that just so I look like a jerk when I say I don’t like him what a prick.” Lebron became that friend; if he was walking and he stepped on a crack we knew it was to break his mother’s back for what she did to Delonte West.

He still kept going out and putting up points and playing solid defense, but we even started to attack his play for the first time. It was like a girl who bragged how good her boyfriend was in bed and how big his penis was, but now that she was tired and wanted to move all of the sudden ‘he’s not that big and he’s actually kind of selfish.’  Now Lebron was not clutch and he was ‘afraid’ to take the big shot.  When Jordan passed it to Paxson for a 3 he was a selfless visionary, when Lebron passed it to Ray Allen for a 3 in a crucial moment he was a scared little bitch.

After awhile it started to get to him because if you hear something enough you start to believe it. Like the boyfriend who continues to hear he is not that good in bed he started to press and got out of his element and what did he get a bunch of failed rim-jobs. Two things can happen with stress, the first is you can express it outward which we respect as a society because it shows you have balls when you start yelling at people and manning up. The other way you can handle it is turn it inward which he did, he became aloof and reserved when he had always been affable and gregarious.  We as ‘fans,‘ ‘analysts,’  ‘announcers,’ and humans did it we broke him…. or so we thought.

Lebron tuned us out, he tuned us all out and took the stance ‘Oh if its fuck me, then you know its fuck you.’ Finally he didn’t want us, didn’t need us, and we were smitten all over again. We were like school girls waiting at his locker asking if he was going to the party later, and he was saying to us ‘I don’t know, maybe I’ll catch you later.’ Now we had the vapors again, so we switched the script, now he was a driven freak of nature brought here to play basketball for our joy and adulation. The Heat won the title and people were coming out of the woodwork to say they always believed.

NBA: MAR 04 Heat at Lakers

There was the quick synopsis of Lebron’s career the soap opera version of it. Now that we got through exposition part lets get to the exciting part … Math.  First lets address this clutch argument because it is preposterous, Lebrons’ win shares go up from .235 in the regular season to .243 in the playoffs, if you don’t like ‘new’ stats, how about this his points, blocks, and rebounds all go up in the playoffs with assists and steals staying stagnant.  Since 2000 he has shot 46% in clutch moments as opposed to 39.7% for Kobe and since 2006 he has hit 46.6%. Lebron has also shot 41% on game winning shots versus Kobe at a mere 25%. Look at the graph below with his stats in clutch situations. He has been the top 5 in scoring in these situations which would be pretty hard if he in fact was ‘scared to miss the big shot.’

year pts per 48 minutes Shooting % rank
2011-2012

40.4

45.3

5

2010-2011

45.1

43.6

4

2009-2010

66.1

48.8

1

2008-2009

55.9

55.6

2

2007-2008

74.9

48.4

1

Ok now that we got that out of the way lets go to the next argument, ‘he is not a winner.’ When he left the Cavaliers they won 19 games after winning 67 with him the year before that’s a 352% decrease. Take any player off any other team and it doesn’t have that effect. Without Jordan the Bulls still made the playoffs and made decent runs behind Kukoc and Pippen. If you use the argument that those guys were better than the guys Lebron left in Cleveland it just furthers my point that nobody could have won with that scrap yard of a team. Jordan only had 1 title at this point, Bryant rode Shaq’s prime to 3 titles at this point before a 7 year break so he still has time to catch up to these guys.

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The next argument you here is yeah Lebron is great, but he will never be able to touch Jordan or for that matter Kobe. See the chart below this is up to 28 years of age. Jordan has the edge over Lebron in shooting percentage, steals, blocks, pts per game, and win shares. Lebron has the edge in rebounds and assists. Looser rules on hand checking could be argued helped Jordan’s steals, but it hurt his scoring so it’s a moot point.

Name

G GS MP FG% 3P% FT% TRB AST STL BLK TOV PF PTS ws
Lebron

719

718

28648

0.486

0.334

0.746

5200

4963

1242

608

2385

1370

19839

140

Lebron

719

718

39.8

0.486

0.334

0.746

7.2

6.9

1.7

0.8

3.3

1.9

27.6

0.235

Kobe

784

636

28379

0.453

0.337

0.838

4073

3561

1170

467

2285

2111

19296

110

Kobe

784

636

36.2

0.453

0.337

0.838

5.2

4.5

1.5

0.6

2.9

2.7

24.6

0.186

Michael

589

578

22775

0.519

0.284

0.847

3697

3507

1594

623

1799

1756

19000

130.4

Michael

589

578

38.7

0.519

0.284

0.847

6.3

6

2.7

1.1

3.1

3

32.3

0.275

At this point Michael has Lebron overall and Lebron obviously has the edge over Kobe in overall performance. Clutch moment statistics don’t go back as far on 82games to Jordan’s hey-day, but some websites report that he shot 50-55% in the clutch which I can certainly believe. So the edge goes to Jordan as far as pure efficiency and player.

nba_g_jordan2_sw_580But what about overall legacy, does longevity trump dominance? There will always be the ‘what if’ argument for Jordan since he retired twice, once while in his prime. We could try to quantify his statistics and extrapolate them over the years he missed, but who knows if his knees hold up for his Wizards run and we can only truly measure the statistics for when he was on the court. Hank Aaron had the homerun record and then Barry Bonds, but most people wouldn’t consider them better homerun hitters than Babe Ruth, Jimmie Foxx, or even Ralph Kiner in his short run (look it up.)

Lebron has been amazingly durable and has played in over 90% of his games in every season. He also has the frame where he can adapt and have longevity playing more in the block. Its’ upsetting that we lost several years of Jordan’s career, but below you will see at what age Lebron will catch Kobe and Michael’s count statistics and when Kobe catches Michael.

Legacy FGA 3PM FTM ORB DRB TRB AST STL BLK PTS ws
Lebron will catch Kobe at 34 33 33 31 33 29 30 29 31 28 32 30
Lebron will catch Michael at 39 33 28 31 36 29 31 29 37 32 33 33
Kobe will catch Michael at 39 34 34 34 37 34 35 34 40 41 35 39

As you can see Lebron is at least a year ahead of Kobe in every statistics with some like blocks, assists, rebounds and win shares where he is not far behind. As far as Michael, if Lebron continues on his pace he will pass Michael in most areas by 33 with only steals and offensive rebounds taking longer. Both Kobe and Lebron had the advantage of starting their career earlier and not taking sabbaticals. It is the age long question of quantity over quality. Karl Malone stayed around a long time and is 2nd all time in points scored ahead of Jordan does that make him a better scorer than Jordan, no. Does the fact that he has the 3rd highest win shares ahead of Jordan mean he was more valuable than Jordan, no.

“People ask me if I could fly, I said, yeah.. for a little while.” Michael Jordan said that and it is very fitting to describe his career. He did fly and fly higher than anyone for a little while and at the end of the day we will remember the light that shines brightest even if it is for a shorter time.

Alot of the time you will hear, “you have to try this burger it’s the best,’ or ‘that restaurant has the best sushi” and sometimes I am reluctant to try it. My issues with are twofold, first because what you say is the best, is the best fit for you, or best based on your preferences. My second issue is once something is the best in your mind won’t everything else pale in comparison. Now I will only be fully satisfied with that one burger or one place for sushi. Even with all these statistics available today it is still subjective who is the best player, some people argue Magic, some argue Jordan or Russell, and I think when it is all said and done Lebron will be in the conversation. All I’m asking is when that conversation comes up we don’t point out that Lebron, ‘wasn’t clutch’ or wasn’t a ‘winner’. Right now Lebron is a rodeo burger from Burger King and Michael is a Big Mac, both very enjoyable in their own way. To me, so far, I am not willing to label anyone the best basketball player or best burger because I want to be able to enjoy the here and now, and preferences change, at one time I detested olives now I consider them with indifference, now that’s a change we can believe in.

lebron-ring

J. Senno

Trash Talk Sports

Giants look to get back on playoff track after an embarassing loss by T.D. Hawks of Trash Talk Sports

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A missed field goal from 30 yards, two interceptions, and three 4th down attempt failures and it was over! To make it worse, it all started with a bad pass on only the second play of the game. They did make it to the red zone, but came out each time with a doughnut and even less momentum. The Giants are a team that is based on Eli Mannning. If he is not performing then the whole team suffers. Eli was on the field for only 1/3 of the game and that killed their defense. Those guys were sucking wind. The way the defense is set up is to get at the QB fast. If you are out there for 40 minutes, getting at the QB becomes more and more difficult.

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The recipe for getting shut out: 1 underperforming QB, 4 exhausted d-linemen and a dash of an injured secondary.

Getting shut out so close to the end of the season and with the playoffs on the line is a good way to get motivated.  Well that is what I and every other Giants fan are hoping. They now have to win their last two games to make it in. So let’s start with Baltimore.

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Even with a playoff berth, the Ravens will definitely be out to get at the Giants this week. A Manning brother came to town last week and provided them with a ripe ass beating. And Harbaugh wants a little revenge for his own brother.  A win for the Ravens may or may not come easy. If the Giants show up with the same attitude as last week then I will be hitting the bottle a bit harder on Sunday. If the Ravens face the same team as the other Harbaugh, then it is going to be a long day for Baltimore. The Ravens have a tough choice this week. They have already clinched a playoff spot and whether they win or lose their seed will not change. They also have a great amount of injuries. But have lost 3 straight and want to go into the playoffs with some momentum. What to do? Rest your injured team or risk it for the pride of winning a meaningless game. The Giants, I’m sure, would not mind a lax Ravens team, but from a fan’s standpoint I do not think they deserve an easy win.

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The time has come for the Super Bowl winning Giants to come back to the field. The Ravens are the first team in the way for the six wins needs to get another Lombardi trophy. And this is how the first win is going to come:

Offense:

Ahmad Bradshaw makes his return this week, and with Wilson sharing the carries, the Giants should have no problem running all over the 26th ranked rushing defense of the Ravens. But this week is going to be on Eli’s shoulders. He needs to redeem himself after last week and an overall bad second half of the season. It is now crunch time and this is when Eli shows his true self; a DB shredding monster, beware the Eli.

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Defense:

Prince and Kenny make their return to the secondary this week. With everyone being covered and Flacco having no time to throw the ball, due to the pass rush, the job of the defense this week is to stop the running game of Ray Rice. He has the potential to blow up so they must hold him at bay.

 

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The Giants are healthy and coming off an embarrassing loss. This is the perfect time start to a six game run. Let’s go!

Giants – 42        Ravens – 10

 

T.D. Hawks

Trash Talk Sports

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Week 14 Power Spankings by M.Barr of Trash Talk Sports

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You know, for a team that has recently been the butt of everyone’s joke, the Shit Show that is the New York Jets somehow find themselves involved in playoff scenario talks. How fucking unreal is that? Or better yet, there are 13 teams in the NFL with a worse record than the Jets, teams whose player’s actions have disgraced their organizations and still, the Jets are crucified, for what, the Tebow debacle? Get over it. And in all honesty, while everyone else was busy getting fat off their rinky dink schedules early on, the Jets were battling Pittsburgh, San Francisco, Houston, Seattle and New England who they played twice. That’s a pretty tough fucking lineup for anyone, whether the games were played at home or on the road. Did I mention how limited the Jets were on talent? Did I mention we have a pussy for a QB? Did I mention our best players on both sides of the ball went down early on for the duration of season? So laugh it up fuckers, because now it’s our turn to prey on the weak, and if we happen to pull off the improbable feat of running the table and having shit fall into place for us so that we may snatch the final playoff spot, I’ll be looking for my boys to rock out with their cocks out simply because they are somewhere no one expected them to be, and anything can happen there. Here is the deal:

How Pittsburgh can help: Lose two of their final 3 games. Bottom line here is Pittsburgh cannot win 9 games. That will leave us fucked, as they own the head to head against the Jets. Who does Pittsburgh play? @DAL, VS Cincinnati, VS Cleveland, no cake walk.

How Cincinnati can help: I’m not sure how it works with Cincy if they were to win 9 games, but I do know we need them to lose their final two games so that tie breakers are a non-issue. They close the season with two brutal division games, one of them being against Pittsburgh @ Heinz Field and then they host the Ravens for the final game of their regular season. LET’S HOPE HARBOUGH PLAYS HIS STARTERS! The Bengals are in a similar position the Jets were in back in ’09.

Long shot with Colts: Should the Colts fall apart at the seams and lose their final 3 games, it would give us the edge over them as we whooped that ass earlier on this season. So if Pittsburgh ends up 9-7 and Indianapolis ends up 9-7 we own a tie breaker, this of course assuming that the Bengals lose their final two. I know, it’s confusing, that’s why I packed a bowl before I typed it.

Finally, none of the above means shit if the Jets don’t handle business and post W’s for the duration of the season.

How Tebow can help: Pray his balls off!

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On to the Week 15 Power Spankings, there were plenty of those, and all 3 MVP candidates came out to play.

#5

CHI @ MIN

sw18-adrian-1212-4_3_r560Seems like yesterday the Chicago Bears were 7-0, sitting comfortably atop their Division, flaunting a nasty top ranked D, and then they started playing the good teams, and it was downhill from there. The reeling Bears paid a visit to Minnesota to take on Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Defense. AP pounded out 154yds on the ground while punching in 2 TD’s in their 21-14 division win over Chicago. This was the 7th time this season Peterson has surpassed the century mark, the guy has been fucking unbelievable, a freak of nature. It has not even been a year since that late season game in Washington in which he tore his ACL and still, he’s managed to amass 1600+yds rushing. And with the Vikings sitting at 6-6, they needed every yard he provided to keep their playoff hopes alive. It’s the type of shit an MVP does, the type of season the Comeback Player of the Year has. Just so that it is noted, I understand a Power Spanking should reflect in a score, I know the margin of victory should be wider than 7, but it’s not the score that blew me away, AP showed that he will run the ball on anyone, he followed up that unbelievable performance from last week, with this performance, he’s been consistent, how could I not recognize him for what he has done? With the Victory the Vikes sit at 7-6 and kept their slim playoff hopes alive. As for the Bears, they are struggling at 8-5 clinging to that final playoff spot.

#4

DEN @ OAK

BRONCOS WEEK 10 PSHere is another guy in Peyton Manning who sat out the entire 2011 NFL season while he underwent 4 neck surgeries and yet it seems like he hasn’t skipped a beat. Of course he needed to get the rust off in the first few games, and at times it seemed like he would never be the Peyton of old. He has proved that it was all football blasphemy to doubt ever doubt him, the thought of his skills diminishing are now a thing of the past as Denver has locked up their Division and cruised to their 8th straight victory when they took it to the lowly Raiders 26-13. Manning would throw for 310yds and a touchdown in this game as he continued to make his case for the Comeback Player of the Year as well as the League MVP. Altogether on the season Manning has completed nearly 70% of his passes (68.3), has thrown for 30 TD’s to just 10 INT’s and has thrown for 300+ yds in 7 games this season. Again, these are the # and MVP would put up, it’s the stuff legends are made of.

#3

NO @ NYG

wilsonweb11s-1-webSo the Saints came into New Jersey and had their egos marched on. It’s no secret, despite the brilliance of Drew Breese, it’s become clearer and clearer that Sean Payton was the brains of the outfit. Rookie RB David Wilson ran wild on the Saints in just about every which way one can possibly run wild on an opponent. Wilson became the first player in NFL history to collect 200+ yds on special teams as well as 100+yds from the backfield. A nice accomplishment for Bradshaw’s replacement, but the back flipping bullshit has to go, Coughlin don’t like that shit. But he does like blowing out a conference opponent, and that is exactly what the G-men did. A 52-27 blowout. This just goes to show the league that the November Blues are far behind the Giants as they seem poised to make another run at this thing. I’ve said from the begging of the season how I feel about the Giants, as much as I hate them, I have grown to respect them, and when these fuckers get hot and that front 4 gets it going and that retard Eli goes into Rain man mode, it’s not too farfetched to speak of another Giant/Patriots Super Bowl. Eli and company now head down to ATL to take on the overrated Falcons who lost to the Panthers last week, to hear Trash Talk Sport’s T.D. Hawks tell it in his Trash Talk Giants Game day Preview; Giants leave there with a victory 27-17. I could see that.

#2

HOU @ NE

bradySOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Tom Brady whipped his cock out on the big screen and boy, how could you not consider this guy an MVP candidate. He picked apart the Houston Texans in a 28 point blowout 42-14, in what many believe to have been a preview of the AFC Championship game. If Houston plays like that again, I’m sure Brady and Belechick will have no problem embarrassing them in another big game. Keep in mind that the Texans were blown out by the Packers and then went on to return the favor the following week against the Ravens, by no means is this beginning of the end for the Texans, they just played a really good team that they do not match up well against. That’s all I got to say about that. As far as Brady and the MVP, I feel he has to be the front runner, plain and simple. Where would NE be without him? How would that offense operate without him? Put someone else under center aside from Peyton Manning and does that offense perform the same? Better yet, who the fuck only turns the ball over 4 times? Here are his Numbers; he’s completed 64% of his passes for 3,833yds with 29 TD’s and 4 INT’s. Not to mention yet another 10+ game win season and another AFC East title. I hate the fucking Patriots.

#1

ARI @ SEA

This will be brief. It’s hard to win or even play well in Seattle when they have that 12th man behind them. it is even harder when you suck. Hence the case of the Arizona Cardinals, who after starting 4-0 have shit the bed and dropped 10 straight when the Seahawks tore them a new asshole in a 58-0 victory.

This win proves one thing about the Seahawks, you have to have one hell of an attention span to mentally stay in a game of that nature. There is only one way I figure you can remain that focused in a blowout of that magnitude. Anyone else want to chime in?

adderall-the-drug-of-choice

M.Barr

Trash Talk Sports

Giants March Pass Saints, Look to Shut Roddy White the Fuck Up by T.D. Hawks of Trash Talk Sports

NFL: New Orleans Saints at New York Giants

Like I said the game should not have been played. The Giants watched as the Saints took the field last Sunday in anticipation of revenge and awarded them a firm ass beating. Thanks for letting me see the Giants have their first 50+ point game in over twenty years. I found last year the Saints had no problem running up the score on lesser opponents. Oh how beautiful the sight of Drew Brees and the Saints on the other end of a blow out. The Saints main goal this season should be to keep Drew Brees healthy and safe. It’s a wrap!

wilsonweb11s-1-webIt was also a record breaking day for the G-men against the Saints. All thanks to the rookie sensation, yeah I said sensation, David Wilson. Not only did he break a Giants record with 327 all purpose yards, he is also became the first player in NFL history to have 200 kickoff return yards and 100yds on the ground. Wilson will become a major player in the Giants already powerful offense; and they will need him this week against the shit talking (everyone seems to “hate” on the Giants this year) Falcons.

 

Maybe it was the fact that the Giants knocked the Falcons out of the playoffs last year in embarrassing fashion. Maybe it is because a slot receiver, a little guy, who was not even starter in the beginning of the season last year, wound up with more yards. Maybe because after this game that same slot guy could surpass him again. Or maybe it is just because Victor Cruz has become Roddy White’s mom’s favorite player. Who knows why, but Roddy White thinks it is a good idea to call out the Giants all powerful and finally healthy again wide receiving corps. Tisk tisk Roddy, have we not learned from our dear friend Miss Clay Matthews (the fudge packing tranny).

Keys to exposing as the Falcons for the frauds they are:

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Offense:
Rush he shall – David Wilson will take over the starting job this week due to an injured Bradshaw. The Falcons are allowing a league’s 2nd worst yards allowed on the ground. They are 2nd only to the New Orleans Saints and we all saw what Mr. Wilson did to them last week.
Unfortunately, we all know, the reason Wilson has not earned the starting spot outright is because of his poor blocking skills. Eli is going to need to release the ball quickly. Look for Cruz to have a big game.

Defense:
Roddy White talks shit because he can. Year in and year out he is a machine, and with Matt Ryan having enough time in the pocket, this self-proclaimed “big boy” will run wild on an ailing secondary. Again, the key is to put pressure on Ryan as they did last week against Brees and forcing him into making mistakes. The secondary, whether they be starters or not, injured or not, needs to step up and also keep Julio Jones out if this game.

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The three game season starts Sunday at 1pm.

Giants – 27 Falcons – 17

 

 

T.D. Hawks

Trash Talk Sports

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1st Place Knicks Start 6 Game Homestand Clicking On All Cylinders!! By Steve “Chino Brick City” Inghilleri of Trash Talk Sports

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So the New York Knickerbockers keep rolling along! After a Dagger 3 by Jason Kidd with 24 ticks left , they did in the Brooklyn Nets & left them reeling with their 5th straight loss dropping them to 11-9. The NYK are a team CLEARLY headed in the opposite direction. They are now a Conference BEST 16-5, winning 7 of their last 8. They have emerged as the Team to beat in the East after their Blowout win over the HEAT last week. Mike Woodson’s “1 GAME AT A TIME” Mentality is working like a charm, as the veteran leadership has taken over. I don’t want to dwell on this too much, but the reason the Knicks are better than the Nets is simple. It’s the philosophy that Mike Woodson & his coaching staff, along with the Veterans on this team, have drilled home. You ask any Knick after a win or a loss and they’ll mention “it is 1 Game”. They don’t get too high after a win, or too low after a loss. To me, this is the biggest difference between this year & last year. The Knicks are now winning Games, they most certainly would have lost last year. If the Nets got up for EVERY game like they do for the KNICKS, It’s quite possible that THEY would be atop the EAST. They Have the Talent, They have the depth. But it’s the mental game where I feel they’re lacking.

Case & Point: The Knicks were down by as many as 16 in the 1st qtr after some blistering shooting by their crosstown rivals. More importantly, were down by 10 late 3rd qtr. But they kept hanging around and would NOT let the Nets blow this game open. Although it was Kidd who drained the game winner, it was Carmelo Anthony who carried this team on his back dropping 45 pts on 15-24 shooting, including five 3’s. He also scored 6 straight points in a variety of ways down the stretch in the final minutes prior to Kidd’s Game winner.

399303_10151349862821013_108726792_nThis win over the Nets was not the only reason the Knicks are the certified team to beat in the East, Miami loss to Golden State last night. Currently the Knicks post an 8-5record on the road which is in fact the Best in the East & 4th Best in the league. They also are the only remaining Undefeated Home Team in the NBA at 8-0. The up and coming part of their schedule will afford them the opportunity to expand on that record as their next 6 games will be played in the “World’s Most Famous Arena.” They will kick things off tonight against the Lakers at 8:00pm, a game which also features the return of Mike D’Antoni.

The Lakers come LIMPING into New York having lost 7 of their last 10, 9-13 overall with an uncharacteristic like 2-7 road record. However, this is a “TRAP Game”. Kobe Bryant ALWAYS seems to get up for the Knicks no matter what either team’s record indicates. Having said that, this is an EXCELLENT opportunity for the KNICKS to OPEN UP THE GAP, with the next 6 games being against The Lakers, Cavs, Rockets, Nets, Bulls & T-Wolves. ONLY the Nets & Bulls are over .500. And the way things are going for Brooklyn that sinking ship may be headed for disaster. The Garden crowd will be in frenzy due to the combination of the Return of Mike D’Antoni & coming off the heels of the win at Brooklyn. I know D’Antoni resigned, but let’s call a spade a spade, no pun intended. It was Anthony that ran D’antoni & his WEAK, NO DEFENSE PLAYING, system out of town. The Lakers are 4-8 under D’antoni and quite frankly I don’t see things getting much better, especially with Steve Nash’s return up in the air. As recently as Sunday, Lakers coach Mike D’Antoni speculated that Nash might return at some point on the Lakers’ road trip that begins Tuesday in Cleveland, but Nash told USA Today that won’t be happening. Ironically, the Lakers starting PG is Chris Duhon, who played for Knicks under D’antoni for 2 years having his best year as a Pro averaging 11 pts and 7 Assists in 2009. But He’s CLEARLY overmatched with this PG Heavy Knicks rotation. I can see Raymond Felton having a HUGE night against Duhon & the Lakers. Things could get ugly VERY Quickly !

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D’Antoni is almost assuredly going to get his share of boo’s when they announce his name. But after that it’s up to the players on the floor. Unless of course D’antoni becomes unglued like he did after Tuesday night’s loss to Cleveland, when he didn’t appreciate the line of questioning he got from one of the LA Times columnist, who questioned D’Antoni’s preparation, something he NEVER did in New York! As Bad as they were under D’Antoni, you never would have known it. His demeanor was always up beat & jovial in a win or a loss!! Something that rubbed Knick Fans & Brass the wrong way. Maybe if He showed some more emotion like that, He wouldn’t have lost his Team or his Job. Wait a second. Did I just Say that? Fuck Outta Here!!! The Knicks NEVER would have won ANYTHING under D’Antoni’s system! He never ever once stressed Defense. He REFUSED to make any adjustments. His overly confidant belief and false pride in regards to his system was the reason for His Demise. And inevitably will be his demise in Los Angeles with or without Nash.

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So in sticking to the “1 game at A time” Philosophy, I’m not EVEN going to talk about who’s next. All the Knicks have to do is the same thing they’ve been doing all year, play tough defense, move the ball, hit open shots, the 3 ball & DONT TURN THE BALL OVER !! Here’s a little Knick Nugget: The NY KNICKS are averaging only 10 turnovers a Game!! That’s THE BEST in the league!! Conversely, The LAKERS are averaging 16.5 Turnovers a Game!! That’s next to LAST in the league! Only Houston has more. The Knicks also force 16.1 Turnovers per Game!! That’s a +5.28 Differential, also the best In the NBA!! So for those Bandwagon jumpers, fear not!! These are NOT our “Same Old Knicks”!! They may be old, but not the same! Not even close, just Like tonight’s game should Be, NOT EVEN CLOSE!!!!!

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Steve “Chino Brick City” Inghiller

Trash Talk Sports

 

Tim Mccarver Is A Douche By J.Senno of Trash Talk Sports

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Mom, why does this man hate the Mets?” This was a question I posed to my mom in 1991 in reference to Tim Mccarver’s inability to acknowledge anything that the Mets did correctly and scorn them with a smug disgust any time they did something wrong. Then I would turn to the Yankee game as Phil Rizzuto would be teaching the youth in the audience how to field a ground ball and treat the Yankees with a special kind of reverence.  I hate Mccarver, I think he is a complete douche and I love the Scooter (Rizzuto), but they were both effective in eliciting an emotion out of me and making me engaged in the game.

That was over 20 years ago, and a lot has changed in the scope of how sports are covered, but surprisingly announcing hasn’t changed all that much. This leads me to the question, “How can we make sports commentating the most entertaining that it can possibly be?” We have had failed experiments such as the Dennis Miller and the Tony Kornheiser debacle, but for the most part we get the same BS game in game out that we’ve always gotten. If you don’t believe me think about how many times you have heard the following phrases:

‘Defense wins championships’ (defense does win championships, but so does offense)

‘The team that wanted it more won the game today’ (yeah, I’m sure it had nothing to do with skill)

‘You can see the desire in his eyes’ (the guy is wearing a helmet, and you are saying he looks ready to fuck?)

‘I think it’s time the team went back to the drawing board’ (we have technology now, are teams really using antiquated drawing boards?)

i-5f41707e2acddfa0e8a5e16452d2986a-tx_miller_dennisThe Dennis Miller project failed because he doesn’t translate well to football audience as he comes across as a snarky elitist. It also seemed like he didn’t care about football as much as the obscure analogies he would spew that would make you grab your Encyclopedia Britannica to understand what he is talking about. Football fans want to hear announcers that sound ‘like them’ and that say things ‘they would say’, Miller did not do that.

The Tony Kornheiser experiment failed because it didn’t seem that he ever really wanted to be a commentator. The reason he works so well on PTI is because there is a point and counter point and it is a discussion, whereas as on Monday Night football he was the only ‘personality’ and there wasn’t that witty back and forth that him and Micheal Wilbon provide.

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 This has made all networks that cover sports reticent to take any chances when it comes to commentators. You have one play by play guy (Costas, Albert), one ex player (Aikman, Mccarver), and one expert. ‘That’s the way it has always been and we like it.’ But this format is washed up and played out. So this made me think of the scene in the movie ‘Big’, where Tom Hanks pitches the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books, why not do-that with sports?

There is specialized programming for everything, but nothing for sports. I think before you sit down to watch a sporting event there should be options so you can ‘choose your own adventure.’ The first thing you should be able to select is the level of viewership, just like playing a video game. I no longer need an announcer like Rizzuto to tell me to watch the ball into my glove or in football for them to tell me a field goal is worth 3 points. There should be 4 levels,

1) Beginner: You’re new to the game or only watch the big games.

2) Intermediate:  You watch pretty regularly, but you are not upset if you miss a regular season game.

3) Advanced: You have disappointed family members by missing birthdays so that you may you go to or watch the game. A loss for your favorite team actually changes your mood.

4) Geek: If you are like me and want to hear about weird statistics or the break-down of cover 2 man 1 versus regular cover 2, then you should have that option.

The next aspect you should be able to select is the kind of experience you want when you watch the game.

1) Traditional: You will get the same shit you have always been getting. If you are the type of person who takes a turkey sandwich to work every day then this is what you should pick.

2) Perez Hilton: They talk about everything those non-sports fans care about. They tell you about the new  jerseys and report on rumors about players infidelities or fights between players’ wives. This will be great for Super Bowl parties, separate into two different rooms and everyone is happy.

3) PTI style: You will have the traditional play by play guy, who will also act as a moderator between 2 experts who are basically pundits with agendas. The experts will debate one another’s points, which will make this setting more interesting and entertaining.

monsoon_fires_heenan4) Trash talk: This will be much like the WWE. Each announcer will have clear interests in who is winning the game and will actively root for one team while also talking smack about the other team and unleashing personal attacks on the other commentator as well when they see fit. Seriously, this would be the greatest thing to happen to sports announcing.

In an age where we can select between 7 pawn shop shows, countless Law and Order and CSI variations, and endless supply of housewife shows why not expand the experience for sports watching?  A prominent scholar named after a type of water (Ice Cube) once said, “We’re in this entertainment business really to give the people what they want.” So let’s stand up together and say this is what we want.

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J. Senno

Trash Talk Sports